My stepmom is a woman of few words. This is not a line you often hear when it comes to women, but one out of the many admirations I have for my stepmom is how she speaks in volumes with her actions in humble ways rather than in loud spoken words.
Just about every weekend that I visit her and my father, my Stepmother always has a bag of food prepared and packed for me to bring home. She knows my favorite Chinese foods like sesame and taro balls that only SHE can pick out in a Chinese supermarket and have ready for me when I visit. She was the one to make me ‘bone soup’ after my hip replacement surgery to fortify my weak bones and even weaker spirit into gaining strength back to learn to walk all over again. Yet, the #1 way that my stepmom has shown and spoken her love and care for me is what she has known best: Coats to keep me warm.
Love is spoken and shown in different ways. There are people who will say that they love you, but their actions will not match their words. The words will lift you up and make you feel good only for a little while until you are crushed into questioning if that person really and truly knows you, cares about you, or, even, loves you. There are people who will spend tons of money on materialistic things with the belief that money can solve problems and show and speak love. A diamond ring. A dozen stemmed roses. The thing is that things are only things that mean absolutely nothing and are only a something when there is a meaning or message behind or inside them. There are people who do not know how to say or speak “I Love You” verbally and who are closed off with their emotions, but will show and speak their love in what they do on the outside from their innermost feelings on the inside.
No way am I a love expert. I have yet to even experience love in the romantic sense or this supposed ‘falling in love’ that only seems existent to me in Hollywood movies, but I certainly have felt deep love and care for family and friends. If you look up “Love” on the Internet, there are endless definitions that force you to keep on scrolling and skimming down the screen. I think that there are many kinds of love: Love for ourselves (not in a selfish sense, but to respect and care for yourself) and Love between or among family, friends, and beyond. I think love is something that cannot be explained or defined. Love is something felt deep within that cannot really put into definitive words. Love is felt over time and in the seemingly littlest of ways and actions that mean the most and amount to growth in any and all relationships. I think love grows, stretches, and spans over time and requires loads of ingredients like trust, laughter, care, nurturing, patience, faith, loyalty, and even more. And Love is NOT always kind, but can be extremely hurtful and painful, but all the more worthwhile because, as I say and believe, it is better to feel something than nothing at all. All in all, I believe that Love is like my Stepmother’s coats that have kept and continue to keep me warm and safe in the coldest and hardest of days.
Love lies in the little acts of kindness that people show and not only say. How do you know when someone loves you? What kind acts or good deeds have people taken to show that they care about or even love you? Is it important for you to HEAR words of “I Love You” or to be the recipient of true actions of love and care? What is love to you? Who is keeping you warm?
Keep smilin’ until we meet again,