On Christmas Eve
2018, I unexpectedly received a message from one of my penpals from
Europe. We had not had contact in at
least ten years. The timing of his
contact was impeccable because I was at my place of contemplation about how my
2018 had begun, how it turned out, and how it was going to end now into the
start of 2019. He asked how my life had
played out all these years. He shared
about his steady job, his happy marriage, his house turned into a home, and his
His life was exactly
how I predicted that it would turn out to be.
My life had not.
I thought about my
life these past few years that was the complete antithesis to his picturesque
and predictable life. I found myself
writing about surgeries and struggles, tragedies and triumphs, lots of
laughter, tons of tears, pain, joy, deep reflections, and a most unpredictable
life that had and still continues to somehow revolve around faith, strength,
the magnitude of gratitude that all leave me totally and utterly awestruck and
in amazement at how all these past years and how my life had played out in the
most unpredictable ways. Yet, the most
stunning part about the unpredictability was how everything wove, fit, and
pieced together in ways that made sense only in retrospect of the past and not
endurance in the present. You cannot
tell me that you have never experienced situations where you were about to lose
all hope or faith and were in the darkest of places and then somehow, someway,
everything eventually fell into its own place and the light was brighter than
He has yet to respond
to me. I do not expect a response.
I am sure that the
way I turned out was not how he had predicted.
We had met when I was still in my 20’s.
I believe I told him that I would be married and have children by the time
I was 24-years-old. When I reflect on
this sentiment of certainty, I have no idea how I even had this certainty when
everything in my life had been completely uncertain. While many my age were probably searching for
love and/or a partner and had a desire to have children, I lacked interest in
any of this. Rather, I developed and
unexplainable drive and passion about advocacy work for organ donation and
transplantation, healthcare, and for any and all the underdogs who could not
fight for themselves. The perceptions
and predictions in our minds are often not how they play out in reality. We can make all the plans in the world (you
are talking to type A planner here), but life just keeps on moving, going, and
happening while you are living each and every day that have hidden treasures
for us to be present with and savor.
Suffice to say, I connect with the fighters, the strugglers, the
trailblazers, the different, the weird, the unusual, the unique, the misfits,
the abnormal, the analyzers, the over thinkers, and those who have had the most
unpredictable lives that do not fit the majority of society, and, yet, we all
possess at least a little of all of these qualities.
None of us have a
crystal ball. The future is only a
question mark and mystery. None of us
can ever really predict and know how our hopes, dreams, plans, realities in our
heads all revolved on our one single life to live will play out. I never would have predicted half of what has
happened in my rather crazy life that comes in during the routine that I thrive
on and strive for. Life can be wild and
you cannot make up half the stuff that happens.
All I have wanted and wished for was a quiet and simple life, but that
has not happened in my life, nor do I ever see it happening in my life. I tell you this much that I know to be
true: The BEST that has happened at the
WORST of my life were the surprises and the unpredictable that were thrown in
for me to refocus and bring me back to the here and now of my life.
The predictions that
we have that often do not play out in reality.
Have you ever had a prediction that was spot on or not? What were
predictions you had about your life and yourself? How did and do you predict your life? What were/are your goals, plans, and
intentions? How are predictions, goals,
and plans connected? Do you ever reflect
on your life and the ‘becoming’ of you and processes that led you to where you
are now and where you may go forward to?
What do you predict for 2019 in your life?
Keep smilin’ until we