I admit
it. I can be a know-it-all. I am guilty of my walking fortune cookie
or an open Hallmark card ways with a sentiment, a phrase, or words of wisdom to give
out to anyone who may take the time to listen to me. I am always staring upwards in amazement and
awe of how really small we are in such a wide world, weird lives we live and
lead, and magic all around us that is so incredibly awe-inspiring. I ramble because of the many differing perspectives
with the understanding that there is really never any concrete answer with my
nearly concluding, “Well…it depends…” So, imagine
my surprise when he threw me off. One of
my good friends and I indulge in talking every couple of months about all the
hard-hitting questions and quandaries : Life, Love, World, Travel, Experiences,
and the list can go on and on until you are blue in the face. There are very few people in my life that I
can have a mutual meaningful conversation with as well as be my completely
wacky self. ‘Mutual’ and ‘Meaningful’
are the keywords here. Many usually talk
about themselves or others. Hey, I’m
even guilty of being that ‘many.’ His
questions caught me off guard, “Would you want to know when you die? Would you want to know all the answers in
life? Do you think all our lives are
pre-written? ” Without any
hesitation, I said, “No way would I want to know when I die. That is like knowing the ending of a great
movie, book, or story without the intrigue of the beginning and the growing
interest in the plot and storyline. I
think God or some high being may know everything we are going to do and all the
people we are going to meet and their purposes in our lives. I do not believe in pre-written because of
our own free will to make choices. I
think there is a lot we do not know. And
that’s okay. We are not born
knowing. We are born to learn as we go
along in life.” “Why wouldn’t
you want to know? Wouldn’t that make
life so much easier?” he asked me. “Maybe, but
that would be boring and meaningless. If
we knew everything, we would not learn and appreciate the experience. Especially when we look back. If I knew everything, my faith would also
falter or maybe even fall to pieces. I hold fast to faith that even when it is hard
or hurts as hell in life that everything will work out. I do not ever want to lose my sense of faith
and wonder.” I paused and
continued on (my rambling self coming out):
“You know that phrase if I had known now what I had known then that I
wouldn’t have done it? Do you know how
people would want to warn their child version of their future selves and what
is going to happen? Well, I would not
want to do that. I would not give a
warning. I would like to think I would
give a sort of blessing. I would tell
the child version of myself to go with life as it unfolds, do not fear the
mistakes that will inevitably come from the choices you make when you are put
to the test at times, and let time tell and God or the higher power reveal. I would
say it is okay not to know and that we often live with more questions than
answers in life struggling to find when we need to go with the flows of
life. I would just tell my child version
that everything always has their magical and mysterious ways of working out as
it is meant to as so much and maybe everything in life is timing.” My friend
paused pensively, digesting my views. Slowly, he said, “I think our lives are
pre-written by God. He knows everything
we are going to do, everything we are going to experience, and all the people
we are going to meet. I would want to know what is written. If I knew what was written then I could prepare
for how I am going to handle what’s coming up. ” I was truly
shocked by such a response. Completely
thrown for a loop. “Control is
an illusion,” I spouted off bluntly, “You can only prepare and plan so much in life,
and I think there needs to be peace made with that. We can't know everything. It's not good to know everything. If we knew everything, what would happen to our sense of humility and being humble and compassionate rather than arrogant? We are flawed humans that constantly make mistakes-- and it's OK to make mistakes so we can keep on learning and going.” I continued
with even more reasons why I did not agree with his viewpoint to know
everything. At the end of our
conversation, he admitted, “Well, you may be changing my opinion now.” There are many lost
and even dark times we ask in our lives ‘why me?’ or ‘why is this happening?’ While I am a firm believer that everything
happens for a reason and every single person who we cross path in our lives
holds a purpose, I also believe there are experiences that happen in life that
may not have a rhyme or reason at all—these are the ‘unknown’ for us not being
able to figure out why they happened as well as the ‘unknown’ that lies
ahead. We need to make peace with the
unknown and with the questions that surround it. Maybe even embrace them all in a big bear
hug. Do you believe our
lives are pre-written or predestined by God or some higher power? Do you think everything really happens for a
reason and that there are no coincidences in life? Would you really want to know everything,
like when you die and what is going to happen in your life going forward? How do you feel about ‘ignorance is bliss’? Would you want to warn your child self of
what happened in the future and, if so, what would you reveal? What have you experienced that you can’t find
or understand the reason or the knowing behind it all? Maybe I am not as much of a know-it-all as I thought and appeared to be after all. Keep smilin’ until we
meet again, Mary ;-) |
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