This is about the boy who watched the world with me.
This boy never told me that he was watching me. I never told him that I felt his eyes on me trying to place together the puzzle pieces of me. Trying to figure me out. I’m so glad that he couldn’t. Or, maybe, he had already figured me out and even knew me better than I knew myself.
This is the boy who silently stood on the sidelines when I did crazy or unpredictable things. Well, to many, it may seem crazy. To me, it was just me being me. When music began to play, my body began to naturally sway to the vibrations and reverberations with eyes closed as though I was all alone when I was really in a room full of everyone. When I was in a room with the unfamiliar, I would randomly start chatting with them to familiarize with the hopes to befriend. In the crowds, I laughed loudly and flitted from person to person to take ‘selfies’ (or, what I called ‘narcies’) one minute to then, all of a sudden, leaving and nowhere to be found.
Yes, please let me explain. Please do not take my disappearance as rudeness. I have the tendency to abruptly abandon big crowds. Mainly because my body speaks loudly to me that it needs to stretch and move. Partly because I am the outsider observer lover who cannot help but make-believe and make-up stories, conversations, and dynamics about the people I watch. So, I listen when my body speaks. So, I fulfill my hunger to watch the world. So, I vanish into thin air, believing that no one is watching me.
Most people do not question my vanishing act. A couple select friends and my closest family members have sat with me to see if I was okay and that my body was not throwing a temper tantrum. Most people, however, just let me be. They leave me alone.
Not this boy, though. This boy was unlike any other. A rarity. An originality. When we were in a crowd for the first time and my body began to ache and hurt on the inside while I naturally smiled brightly on the outside, I said cheerily and nonchalantly, “I’m just going to sit over there and rest a bit.” My disappearing act. My world-watching. Fresh air. So many faces. So many stories. So much life breathing before me that would replay in my mind later that day and in my years.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him looking at me with a questionable gaze that flickered to a dawning realization. He stopped everything he was doing and walked to where I was sitting. He sat down next to me. Not a single word spoken, but his eyes said that he understood me better than I did. It was in this unspoken act that spoke volumes and louder than any words could possibly try to possess. My facial expression did not betray my initial shock that he was the first and truly only person to ever accompany me in world-watching. We looked at each other. We slowly sat back against the back of the bench to soak up all around us. The people laughing the chatting. The children running and giggling. The marshmallow skies floating in an azure sky. The earth scent of trees. The floral scent of flowers. We watched the world. Together.
This boy’s seemingly simple act of watching the world with me fills me with this radiating warmth and comfort that there is always someone watching us or even watching out for us. This can be taken in the literal or even ethereal and unexplainable sense. Yes, I do believe in guardian angels and God watching out for all of us in some sense. Yes, I do believe in earth angels (like this boy) who watch us and watch out for us and, even luckier, watch the world with us. Do you believe in all of this? Are you a world watcher like me? Who are you watching? Who is or who are the ones who watch the world with you? Who has given you and meant the world to you just by watching the world with you?
So, this was about the boy who watched the world with me. We watched the world together. For a little while. Little did the boy know nor will he ever know that he meant and gave me the world just by watching the world with me.
Keep smilin’ until we meet again,