RSS Become a Fan

Delivered by FeedBurner

Recent Posts

The Rejection
Every Penny
100 Days
The Girl at the Cashier


July 2020
June 2020
March 2020
February 2020
January 2020
December 2019
November 2019
October 2019
September 2019
August 2019
July 2019
June 2019
May 2019
April 2019
March 2019
February 2019
January 2019
December 2018
November 2018
October 2018
September 2018
August 2018
July 2018
June 2018
May 2018
April 2018
March 2018
February 2018
January 2018
December 2017
November 2017
October 2017
September 2017
August 2017
July 2017
June 2017
May 2017
April 2017
March 2017
February 2017
January 2017
December 2016
November 2016
October 2016
September 2016
August 2016
July 2016
June 2016
May 2016
April 2016
March 2016
February 2016
January 2016
December 2015
November 2015
October 2015
September 2015
August 2015
July 2015
June 2015
May 2015
April 2015
February 2015
January 2015
December 2014
November 2014
October 2014
September 2014
August 2014
July 2014
June 2014
May 2014
February 2014
November 2013
July 2013
June 2013

powered by

The "Wu Word" Blog

Still the Same-Yet Different

“You will stay with us after this hysterectomy procedure,”my dad said with comforting finality.
I winced.  I had not lived with my parents for at least five years. I was accustomed to being the gung-ho, gusto, and independent woman who could do it all AND all alone.  I felt like I was intruding and bothering my dad and stepmom yet again—especially my dad who had been the brunt of my health ailments since I was pretty much born.  I hated depending on others.  All I wanted to do was live my life the way I wanted to.  It seemed all these health bumps had to pop up to slow me down again and turn to others for help. 
I pathetically mustered, “I’m sorry about all this.”
“Why are you apologizing? Things happen in life.   Not your fault. We try our best to deal with everything the best we can,” my dad said.   
Throughout my life of the unpredictable health bumps in the Mary Wu road, the steady stream of comfort, force, predictability, and loyalty was my father.  He was always the first face I saw and the first set of hands I held on to and squeezed when I was rolled out from the operating room and into the recovery room where I was all doped up.
This time with the ’unwanted cantaloupe’ was no different.  With a foggy head, a foley catheter tugging on my urine hole making me want to pee even more, and a dry mouth, I felt warm hands squeeze mine and opened my eyes to the warm, round face of my father. 
In my raspy voice from a tube that had been stuck in my throat from the general anesthesia, I kept repeating, “I have to pee.  I have to pee,” or “Ice chips.  Ice chips, please.” 
With one hand gripped tightly to my hand, my dad fed me ice chips with his other hand.  I was desperately dehydrated.  I greedily sucked and savored the frigid ice chips that quickly melted in my overheated and dry mouth. 
That first night in the hospital, my dad slept uncomfortably upright in a stiffly cushioned chair by my bedside.  Whenever I woke up due to pain or the IV bleeping annoyingly, he woke up and fed me ice chips and put the straw to my mouth for me to slowly sip water. 
When the foley catheter was removed, my dad was the one to guide me to the bathroom with the IV pole decked out with hefty bags of narcotics and pain relievers Abouta day later when I felt more adventurous  and was told that the best thing for me to do was move, my dad walked me to the lounge that had a beautiful view of picturesque New York City and with the warm sunshine streaming through. 
“See this gorgeous view,” my dad said, “All for free you get vitamin D and a great view.” 
My stepmom’s loyalty matched my father when she drove intoand battled Manhattan traffic for the both of us.  My stepmom is not a Manhattan kind of gal.  Yet, because she is the epitome of cool, calm, quiet, and collected, she was a prime candidate to battle the jungle of NYC.  I greatly appreciate and value how, in many ways, it can be and is much harder for my stepmom who has been placed in the role of dealing with us wacky Wus.  She did not sign up for the situations that us Wus have had to survive, yet she has handled these situations and all of us with a quiet and unreadable grace and strength. 
After four days of being in a NYC hospital, I was more than ready to return home.  But, it was not my home.  It was my parents’ home. 
I was too weak to analyze more of this, but I felt wrapped up in warmth, comfort, and gratitude to have my parents’ here for me. 
Being back in the house I grew up in and with the people who raised me has been nothing but the greatest gift.  My parents’ spoiled me with letting me sleep in their bedroom on the main floor while they trudged upstairs to my old bedroom, which was still decked out with the sunflower clock and cookbooks scattered everywhere.  My dad and stepmom cooked me my favorite foods: chicken in a rich and salty soya-sauce infused sauce and then drenched in fluffy and steaming white rice, pasta with goat cheese, and eggs with shrimp. These were staple and favorite foods that I grew up with. 
Every morning, my stepmom has had breakfast waiting for me.   Every Sunday since I’ve been here for nearly three weeks, my stepmom has bought my favorite foods or protein-enriched foods that she was sure would fortify me.  Meanwhile, my father keeps saying:“You need to eat more.  Eat more fatty foods.  You’ve lost too much weight.” 
My childhood friends were the first to jump at the chance to visit me and walk with me.   One childhood friend lived a block away. Another childhood friend lived less than 3 minutes away by car. 
As one of them said to me, “Count me in to walk with you as you heal!  Oh, and we have to watch ‘Days of Our Lives’!  It will be like old times!” 
Just like old times. Familiar, comforting, cozy, and warm ‘old times’ and people who had been there for me throughout my life and were here for me yet again nearly twenty years later with yet another surgery. These people and their loyalty of coming through in my life and the predictability they provide make me feel safe and sane—and that in the midst of the unknown, uncertain, chaos, craziness, and even scary that everything is still the same.  My healing journey thrives because of those who are trusting as still the same. 
And, yet, there are subtle and quiet differences in my surroundings, certain people, and myself that are evolving.  Now, when I go outside to walk, it is the vibrant gold and orange leaves that crunch beneath my feet rather than the hot summer sun making drips of sweat form at the base of my neck.  The flowers that were in full bloom with fat and fuzzy bumblebees flying by them are now closing with velvety petals falling delicately to the pavement.  Certain people who I believed would be here for me have not been here for me because of their own worlds spinning uncontrollably. Certain new people who I never imagined would join me on healing journey have surprised me with their desire to be here for me in whatever capacity they can.  My work routine was taken away from me, and yet my workplace continues functioning without me.   Routine has become a questionable quandary for me that has left restless and void of normalcy. 
 Then there is me. 
I am physically different from the obvious that a nearly one pound multi-labeled growth (fibroid, mass, aggressive tumor) has been extracted from me.  This humorously named cantaloupe from my imagination and coping mechanism of laughter as the best medicine has resulted in a deficit of my hormones, episodes of extreme fatigue, and the absence of my monthly period (which I could not be happier about!).  Then, there are my abdominal muscles that feel like guitar strings being plucked and pulled with the plucking and pulling at the most painful in the early mornings.  A new 6-7 inch scar starting at my caved in and abnormal belly button from an over-abundance of surgeries brands me and solidifies my latest overcome health hurdle hiccup. 
I feel different.  I’ve always prided myself and was certain of my internal strength, but now I feel even stronger and more capable through an unexpected new sense of calmness and contentment that I have never fully felt in myself and in my life.  Calm and quiet acceptance has never been me, but I suddenly feel these qualities and embrace them with a renewed sense of hope and happiness. The evolution of the self and people never cease to amaze me.
What has remained the same for me is my sense of gratitude.  I feel extremely grateful for my ending to an unwanted cantaloupe removed from me to embark on my very own beginning.  Most often, when slammed with the most unexpected of news, we perceive our very own world ending when it actually is the greatest blessing of a beginning.  And, how much more of a blessing it is when our world of endings and beginnings are surrounded with constant comforts that make you feel that everything is still the same. 
May we always recognize and treasure the people who provide ‘home’ to us during our most ‘un-homely’ times. May we recognize those who may not provide ‘home’ and have the understanding and capability to love these people from a distance. 
Most of all, may we embrace ourselves and what and who are still the same—yet different.
Keep smilin’,
Mary ;-)

29 Comments to Still the Same-Yet Different:

Comments RSS
Jennifer on Monday, October 6, 2014 6:06 PM
Hey Mare! Nicely written and yeah it is kind of like old times with us watching and making cracks about "Days"!
Reply to comment
Miss Mary on Wednesday, October 8, 2014 10:00 AM
Hey buddy! Thanks for reading my blog! It has been a blast watching and making cracks about "Days" and spending time together. :-)

Swing Bin 50l on Monday, May 8, 2017 6:37 AM
You can utilize the course of these individuals more accommodatingly to help you clean your own composition making capacities. These masters will help you in each which way to deal with take in additional about all the differing methods and the basics to article making.

new best dissertation on Saturday, October 11, 2014 2:45 PM
Health bump is a common problem%20for%20a%20pregnancy%20women.%20Keeping%20fit%20during%20pregnancy%20comes%20with%20many%20benefits%20such%20as%20sleeping%20better%2C%20reducing%20pregnancy%20problem%20etc.%20
Reply to comment

proofreading on Monday, October 20, 2014 10:17 PM
Thanks for this post. I have some opinion for student instrument. Always student have to update. They should use information technology for prepare their study.
Reply to comment

best essay writing help on Saturday, December 13, 2014 7:54 PM
You can use the direction of these people all the more helpfully to help you clean your own exposition composing abilities. These specialists will help you in every which approach to take in more about all the diverse procedures and the rudiments to exposition composing.
Reply to comment

Anonymous on Thursday, March 26, 2015 3:13 PM
There are tons of manuals and instructions about how to write an essay well. There are no practical guides that sit down with you and guide you when you actually essaymania team . If you have a private teacher with many hours to spare, you're set. If you don't, and you want to write an essay easily and get a high grade, your best option is using schoolwork
Reply to comment

car title loans on Friday, June 26, 2015 5:51 AM
An obligation union advance makes it workable for a person to pay off their different obligations and make a solitary installment every month instead of various installments to every individual loan boss. Fundamentally, you request a solitary obligation solidification credit that can pay for each of your Visa or unsecured obligations, utilize the cash to pony up all required funds, and afterward make one installment to the new obligation combining advance.
Reply to comment

check cashing san-diego on Saturday, July 4, 2015 7:43 AM
An auto title improvement is an insurance credit where the borrower utilized his auto or truck to secure the credit. The auto will have a lien set against it and the borrower will surrender a printed copy of the title to the credit expert. A duplicate of the auto key is in like way crucial.
Reply to comment

Cash Advance on Monday, August 3, 2015 3:35 AM
On the off chance that an individual is not arranged to deal with their pay ably and winds up conferring part lapses or shirkings, getting money related help may end up being a troublesome undertaking. Banks and credit unions won't look completely towards low cash related evaluations. Title pushes won't take a gander at your budgetary record taking after their improvement will be secured by the pink slip of your auto.
Reply to comment

check cashing on Saturday, September 19, 2015 6:12 AM
A few affiliations will continue trying and group from you despite this so I have another proposition if this happens. In case you get differing gathering hollers toward you have taught them about your commitment blend you need to fax and/or send them a sensible it letter.
Reply to comment

70-410 on Tuesday, January 26, 2016 6:00 AM
I am physically unique in relation to the undeniable that an about one pound multi-marked development (fibroid, mass, forceful tumor) has been extricated from me. This hilariously named melon from my creative ability and method for dealing with stress of giggling as the best prescription has brought about a shortfall of my hormones, scenes of amazing weakness, and the nonattendance of my month to month period (which I couldn't be more content about!).
Reply to comment

Catherinea Wick on Saturday, March 26, 2016 2:38 AM
absolutely forget about their weak points. Concentrate on your weak points and you will discover that by doing those exercises you don't prefer, you can actually develop to like them eventually. What was
Reply to comment

Ashley Smith on Monday, March 28, 2016 1:07 AM
day. Why Do Cardio At All During A Bulking Phase? Even if your objective isn't to cut, there are several explanations why it is smart to do aerobic during a bulking phase: #1. You will burn-off unwanted weight
Reply to comment

Kelly Shawn on Tuesday, March 29, 2016 1:06 AM
enhance and you will be able to face and sit up comfortably. It enhances your stability and stability. If you are having difficulty with balancing your individual body as you take a position or sit then you will . http://fitness-focuses.com/
Reply to comment

Amanda Gomez on Wednesday, March 30, 2016 1:03 AM
enhance and also repair themselves to create more grounded, more fit muscle tissue. Subsequently, the muscles stay in the condition of catabolism and in this manner never acquires the advancement and
Reply to comment

Brenna McMullan on Thursday, March 31, 2016 1:22 AM
fiber and fat. They ought to be predictable with starches and proteins. The dinners containing these supplements ought to be eaten before work-outs to keep any plausibility of lack of hydration. . http://muscles-chemist.com/
Reply to comment

Web Development Services in Islamabad on Sunday, December 25, 2016 11:57 AM
hi admin i like your efforts but i would like to inform you that this font color is not very appropriate for your blog. change the color of font so everyone can read easily. this is not readable yet.
Reply to comment

List of things to buy when moving into a new house on Monday, March 13, 2017 7:34 AM
That first night in the healing facility, my father rested awkwardly upright in a solidly padded seat by my bedside. At whatever point I woke up because of agony or the IV bleeping annoyingly, he woke up and encouraged me ice chips and put the straw to my mouth for me to gradually taste water.
Reply to comment

Webdriver training in Indore on Monday, March 27, 2017 8:14 AM
Nice post.. Thanks for sharing!!
Reply to comment

xmovies8 on Saturday, May 13, 2017 2:24 PM
What's more, yet, there are inconspicuous and calm contrasts in my environment, certain individuals, and myself that are advancing. Presently, when I go outside to walk, it is the dynamic gold and orange leaves that mash underneath my feet as opposed to the hot summer sun making dribbles of sweat shape at the base of my neck.
Reply to comment

Dr. Ishtiaq Malik History on Thursday, July 27, 2017 5:32 AM
Nice and good post.
Reply to comment

kitchen remodel contractor on Monday, October 30, 2017 6:47 AM
Kitchen rebuilding is a difficult task, and when done right, it's an awesome speculation. This article causes you kick composed and off on the correct foot with your own kitchen redesigning venture. Plan your means out now so you don't have costly errors later!
Reply to comment

cosmetic surgery on Friday, January 19, 2018 8:17 AM
I have been searching for this exact info for a while now. Keep posting such blog.
Reply to comment

tik tok video on Wednesday, April 17, 2019 2:50 AM
Thanks for the nice blog. It was very useful for me. Keep sharing such ideas in the future as well.
Reply to comment

http://www.med.uio.no/klinmed/forskning/sentre/nssf/forebygging/selvmord-forskning-og-forebygging/ on Tuesday, December 10, 2019 9:14 AM
Reply to comment

http://www.portaldaveiro.co.pt/redirect.aspx?page=http://www.spsuicidologia.pt/generalidades/noticia on Tuesday, December 10, 2019 9:14 AM
An interesting discussion is worth comment. I do believe that you should write more on this topic, it might not become a taboo subject but typically persons are inadequate to communicate in on such topics. Yet another. Cheers http://www.portaldaveiro.co.pt/redirect.aspx?page=http://www.spsuicidologia.pt/generalidades/noticias/156-xvi-simposio-da-sps
Reply to comment

http://www.checkio.org/user/tarajmccoy/ on Thursday, December 19, 2019 2:51 AM
Sweet internet site , super pattern , real clean and employ genial . http://www.checkio.org/user/tarajmccoy/
Reply to comment

http://www.abstractfonts.com/members/869558 on Thursday, December 19, 2019 2:51 AM
I’m impressed, I must say. Very rarely do I come across a blog that’s both informative and entertaining, and let me tell you, you’ve hit the nail on the head. Your blog is important, the issue is something that not enough people are talking intelligently about http://www.abstractfonts.com/members/869558
Reply to comment

Add a Comment

Your Name:
Email Address: (Required)
Make your text bigger, bold, italic and more with HTML tags. We'll show you how.
Post Comment
Website Builder provided by  Vistaprint