I ran away from home for the first time when I was about 8-years-old.
It was a short runaway trip down to the neighbors with my Barbie dolls shoved in a small red suitcase that read “To Grandmother’s House We Go.” It was actually my sister’s suitcase and I have a feeling now that I stole it from her. As usual, my memory fails me as to why I ran away, but I knew vaguely that it had to do with an argument with the authoritative ways of my biological mother. My neighbors thought I was the cutest and plumpest little butterball and sent me back home with a snarl on my face. I was such a brat.
I never did well with authority. I do not do well with anyone telling me what to do, how to do it, and when to do it. My father and stepmother and close friends of mine have told me that I am bold, fearless, fierce, and they actually shy away from telling me their honest thoughts and opinions on what I decide to do because they know that once I decide to do it, I do it—and nothing and no one can sway me from a decision I’ve made. I do not look back. If my decisions cause consequences where I am burnt or hurt, then so be it, because I would have lived to be the student to learn yet another lesson and a teacher to teach and tell about it. I do not regret.
I have been told that I am much too inquisitive with constantly asking questions rather than just accepting unanswerable answers. Growing up, I found that asking questions was somewhat interpreted by others as challenging authority and even non-compliant. To me, the person who interpreted this way was insecure with themselves. A secure person will be open to any and all questions to answer and to learn in the process of it all.
I have participated in marches in the masses in a peaceful act against authority. I have written letters to governmental officials for policies I believed in. I have submitted and had opinion-editorial pieces published in newspapers. I am for fighting for ‘the underdog’ as I have been the underdog one too many times only to rise above.
Because I am the fearless questioner that blazes on my own trail, I was told that I am a rebel. I take this word with pride and not with shame.
Throughout life, we are put in struggling positions that challenge our strength, our beliefs, our values, our morals, our decision-making process, and choices that shape and create our lives. These times often involve searching, questioning, and standing up against what others think you should do or be. Every life is precious and unique. We have to live our own lives the way we want it and not for anyone else—even if it is going to be of the minority and much more difficult and lonely. A true test of character is in the chaos and not the calm.
Here is the thing: I can take honest opinions and criticisms that will better me and the core of my character and I can also take blame and responsibility for any mistakes I make. All of this just has to be on my own time. But, am I really alone in anything being on our own time?
Do you question and go up against ‘authority’ if needed? What have you stood up for or against that has made you lonelier and of the minority than what the majority think you should do? What are some strong and unwavering beliefs that you have? Are you a rebel?
Keep smilin’ until we meet again,